


Without Me (The FK Remix)

by MelissaTreglia



Series: The FK Remixes [1]
Category: Forever Knight
Genre: Filk, Metafiction, Other, Song Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-07-12
Updated: 2002-07-12
Packaged: 2017-11-16 04:17:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/535404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MelissaTreglia/pseuds/MelissaTreglia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My first filk, parodying Eminem's "Without Me." Written in 2002 for FF.net, but I pulled it due to their ever-changing rules. The funny part is that the message of this filk still holds true in the Twilight era.</p><p><i>Little twerp stole my thunder, and yes I'm annoyed by it.</i> Nick has a message for all those vampire poseurs who copied his search for redemption.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Without Me (The FK Remix)

Two lady vamps go 'round the outside  
'Round the outside, 'round the outside  
( _Vamp Guy:_ Chik chik bah, uh chika-chika chik chik bah!)  
Two lady vamps go 'round the outside  
'Round the outside, 'round the outside  
( _Vamp Guy:_ Chik chik bah, uh chika-chika chik chik bah!)  
( _Vamp Girl:_ Oooh....)  
  
 _Fans:_  
Guess who's back  
Back again  
Nick is back  
So tell a friend  
Guess who's back  
Guess who's back  
Guess who's back  
Guess who's back  
Guess who's back  
Guess who's back  
Guess who's back  
Nah....  
Nah nah nah nah nah nah  
Nah....  
Nah nah nah nah!  
  
I'm convinced I'm a monster  
And I don't wanna kill mortals anymore  
Nowadays I work on the police force  
In order to repay society for my sins, of course  
But... aw heck, it could always be worse!  
I'm sure you're wondering how I got the bright idea  
To end my old life as an ordinary mortal  
To sell my soul to the devil  
And become both a vampire and a rebel ( _Guy Fan:_ Hey!)  
Lives, I've had more than several  
Including as a bassist in a band playing heavy metal  
But I'm sick of constantly relocating  
All the packing and unpacking is so irritating  
And my master won't let me be  
Or let me be me, and I've tried to see  
If I can escape his tyranny  
But he seems not to like life without me  
Anyway, let's start this hoedown  
Dance to the music while I give you the lowdown  
Now get ready  
'Cos this is about to get heavy  
Don't worry about the vamps in black suits  
They just want to par-tay!  
  
Now this looks like the time for me  
To come back on SciFi TV  
'Cos we need a little vampire chivalry  
And the boob tube's empty without me  
I said this looks like the time for me  
To come back on SciFi TV  
'Cos we need a little vampire chivalry  
And the boob tube's empty without me  
  
The air waves looked downright dull  
All intelligence seemed to be void and null  
My fans must've felt like prisoners, helpless  
Till someone told the SciFi gurus to rock the set ( _Girl Fan:_ YES!)  
With at least one program that makes you think  
Instead of one that makes you drink  
For years, my fans have asked and asked  
Sent presents and basically kissed the ass  
Of every single power that be to get me back  
And with their e-mails, they did a sugar attack  
And now I'm back, nah nah nah nah nah nah nah  
Sitting on top of the TV world, so hah!  
And I won't go away for at least 70 more eps  
And my fans are sure to take care of the rest  
Of inconsistances and controversies  
I'm interesting  
To them, I'm far better than wrestling  
They say I'm cute but rather perplexing  
Enforcing my own ideas of love and biting  
( _Girl Fan:_ But there's really no need)  
But I don't whine about it - I like my dignity  
You see, my ideas are all about chivalry  
To help others you should strive to do  
Even if you don't really want to  
  
Now this looks like the time for me  
To come back on SciFi TV  
'Cos we need a little vampire chivalry  
And the boob tube's empty without me  
I said this looks like the time for me  
To come back on SciFi TV  
'Cos we need a little vampire chivalry  
And the boob tube's empty without me  
  
When people fight me, I really don't like it  
Before they swing at me, I'll have them licked  
Angel, you're gonna get your ass kicked  
Little twerp stole my thunder, and yes I'm annoyed by it  
And Buffy, she's just downright slutty  
Swinging a stake and wearing supertight outfits  
She's just annoying  
Ever since she screwed Angel she became a whore  
I don't want to see her on the screen anymore!  
But anyway, I just gotta say  
That every dog will have its day  
And I'm far from finished with mine yet  
( _Random Guy:_ I don't think so) Sure, you wanna bet?  
Why, you begin to ask?  
I'm the key character in a cult classic  
Well, this must mean I'm living la vida idolic  
In a biz that plays to a certain demographic ( _Guy Fan:_ DAMN!)  
Although I'm not the first vamp on TV  
I am the best thing on the small screen  
To do the good vamp role so convincingly  
And, so doing, found *reel* immortality ( _Girl Fan:_ Yay!)  
Here's a concept that works  
20 million other good guy vamps emerge  
But no matter how many fish are in the sea  
It'll be so empty without me  
  
Now this looks like the time for me  
To come back on SciFi TV  
'Cos we need a little vampire chivalry  
And the boob tube's empty without me  
I said this looks like the time for me  
To come back on SciFi TV  
'Cos we need a little vampire chivalry  
And the boob tube's empty without me  
  
 _Fans:_  
Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah  
Le le le le le  
Le le le le le  
Le le le le  
Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah  
Le le le le le  
Le le le le le  
La la la la  
Nick!


End file.
